On a scale of 1 to 10, how has your motivation been looking this past month?
Let me rephrase: how has your effort been looking this past month?
Am I the only one who finds myself in the paradox of wanting desperately to be productive but, in the moment of truth, can't get myself to do anything? Like, I'm motivated, but that's not reflected in my effort.
... So maybe that means I'm just anxious?
In any case, if you're feeling low on motivation or interest in your work, you're not alone. I have gotten very little done this month and have achieved far less this semester than I had hoped. I can't quite put my finger on the mechanism. Am I so overwhelmed that I can't get myself to start anything? Is it my sleep schedule? Lack of a solid routine? All of the above?
Oh! Could it be that we're still in a global pandemic that has taken the lives of thousands of people, completely changed the way we interact with people, and altered the way we live our lives--perhaps permanently?
Yeah. That might have something to do with it.
But if I'm being honest, I've had these issues before. Like, long before the pandemic.
It's scary when you can't get yourself to do things you want to do. I think it's a surprisingly common phenomenon, but rarely do I hear anyone talk about it. If you're an expert in human motivation and behavior, please hit me up. In the meantime, I wanted to share a few things that might be at play:
CONFIDENCE
Insecurity is pervasive throughout academia, as I'm sure it is across other industries, too. The phrase "imposter syndrome" is one I'm personally sick of seeing, but I think it continues to be a widespread issue. We know from cognitive psychology that our attention has a limited capacity. If we are constantly filled with feelings of doubt and thoughts like, "I don't belong here," how are we supposed to have anything left to do the task at hand? Further, if we are not confident in our ability to complete the task, how ever are we supposed to be motivated to pursue it?
I think this ties in a little with the work of Dr. Carol Dwek, a psychologist at Stanford University on fixed and growth mindsets. To oversimplify, if you have a fixed mindset, you view intelligence or abilities as having a limit. So for example, you might think you are born with only a certain level of math skills and that becoming an expert is beyond the scope of your abilities. A growth mindset is the opposite viewpoint: intelligence and abilities are limitless. You may not be good at math now, but you have the capacity to get better. Intuitively, you can imagine that someone with a growth mindset is going to be more successful in their academic or professional endeavors. Why? Because they believe in their ability to learn and to overcome challenges. I'd like to think I subscribe to the growth mindset, but when it comes to my own abilities, there may be some fixed thinking going on. Consequently, this fixed mindset inhibits me from pursuing new or difficult tasks, because I already believe I can't achieve them.
ANXIETY
Especially this past year, anxiety and other mental health issues have skyrocketed. Despite the efforts of our workplaces to convince us that they care about mental health, we are still bombarded with expectations to produce high-quality science (or whatever else) and fast. Businesses can say what they want, but our society tells us loud and clear that what we produce is more important than our health. But I digress.
I think anxiety functions similarly to intrusive thoughts about self-doubt in that it floods our attentional capacities. But I also think the effect of anxiety depends on your personal response to it. For some people, anxiety is a fire that lights action. I know people who devote countless hours to their work, not because they are committed and passionate, but because they are overcome with anxiety about the consequences of not getting that work done. But for other people, like me, anxiety causes us to "freeze" or "flee". Rather than approaching the issue that gives us anxiety, we prefer to avoid it. If it's not there, then we don't have to feel bad... right?
Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure avoidance breeds even more anxiety. And so the avoidance turns into a nasty cycle of getting nothing done, becoming more anxious about it, and getting further and further away from learning that we actually can do hard things. The more we avoid, the more daunting the task becomes.
Big Tasks (with late rewards)
Nothing inspires motivation like a huge, daunting task, am I right?
What are the types of things on your to-do list right now? Are they things like: (1) finish manuscript, (2) analyze data, (3) submit grant? Have you ever stopped to consider how absolutely massive those tasks are? Like, how intimidating to look at your to-do list and realize you have to complete an entire manuscript. There are so many moving parts! When things are big and scary, it's intimidating. And what do we do about things that are intimidating? Usually, we avoid them! So I think part of tackling this is learning to break our tasks down into small, bite-sized pieces; into achievable, easy tasks that incrementally boost our confidence and allow us to make a little progress a day at a time.
Ok. So most of the projects we take on in academia are big. They are also high risk, high reward tasks that require a strong ability to delay gratification because you're probably going to work real hard for six months before you get any kind of reward for your efforts. Kinda hard to keep going when you're grinding for months with nothing in return, right? You start to wonder, "What am I doing this for?" I get that because I feel it all the time.
This is easier said than done, and probably not a satisfying solution, but I sincerely I think we have to reconsider what we see as rewards or pay-offs. A publication is not the only pay-off for your efforts; there is also completing a draft, receiving a revise and resubmit, finding the perfect article, checking "do references list" off your to-do list. It's also worth coming up with our own rewards for your efforts. Did you finally submit a paper? Treat yourself to your favorite activity! Did you just get a great score on your grant? Take yourself to dinner! You deserve rewards even if you haven't yet successfully completed the "big thing." Seriously! As nice as it would be to get regular praise and positive feedback from our mentors or supervisors, we can't count on it. Academia isn't set up that way. Also, people are so busy, they often don't have time to celebrate themselves, let alone other people! So be your own cheerleader. Look out for yourself. Treat yourself.
Now, in spite of all my thoughtful reflections on motivation, I am clearly struggling from an inability to address any of them. So let me be the first to acknowledge that knowing something isn't enough to inspire action. I think addressing the source of our issues comes with small, consistent changes to our habits. To change our lives we literally have to change the way we live. It's hard, but maybe we can try together. Maybe we can choose one small thing to work on this week, and if we consistently build on those small habits, we might actually be able to instill a positive, permanent change. What does that change look like for you? Write it down. Commit to it :)
Unproductively yours,
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