Hi. It's me. And it's been a while, I know. Never-mind writer's block. I think what I have is writer's anxiety. I can't tell you how much I'd love to just open up my laptop and write a simple post with my thoughts for the day. But alas, I overthink and ultimately stop myself from writing anything because I'm imagining an unachievable, perfect version of what my posts "could be". This happens with manuscript writing too, actually, but that's a topic for another time.
Is this the time where I finally break free from writer's anxiety and perfectionism? Not sure. Probably not. But it can't hurt to start again and try.
So here I am. It's October. We are well into the 2021 Fall Semester. Summer came and went.
I'm an NSF fellow this year. Hard to believe it, sometimes. This time last year, I was frantically preparing job applications all while trying to decide whether I should throw together an NSF application with less than a month before the deadline. It was a really stressful time. This year, things are a lot better.
I am on the job market again. Although I'm funded for 2 years through NSF (#grateful), I don't want to miss any job opportunities. The academic job market is so volatile and unpredictable. Plus, I already have my materials! Applying really was so much easier this time around.
My surroundings are the same. We are still in North Carolina and I am still in the psychology department at UNC-Chapel Hill. One of my mentors is the same and I've added a second mentor specifically for my NSF fellowship. They're both great and I've felt very supported this year so far. I'm also in two programs: developmental and social psychology. Some departments have talked about getting rid of program areas all together; having graduate students apply directly to faculty and doing away with labels. I didn't really have an opinion on that until this year. I can't tell you how eye-opening it has been sitting in on the social program's weekly seminars. The vibe is so much different! And there are so many cool people! It seems a shame to silo all of us into departments when we could have much more enriching conversations if we all blended together. The research is social psychology is really interesting and listening to it with my developmental "lens" has inspired so many cool research ideas.
DJ is working from home full time now, which the dogs love. I'm mostly working from home, but making the occasional trip to campus for meetings and for a change in scenery. I've had a lot of brain fog this semester--especially the past month. It seems like the academic community is trying to convince itself and everyone else that things are back to normal, but they are not. We are still in a pandemic. We have spent many, many months working (or not working) from home and transitioning back into the office, or into a hybrid model, or into any kind of system of working consistently, is a big challenge. Maybe it's not for you, but I'll be the first to admit that I've struggled. I don't work full days. I put things off. I'm definitely in some kind of weird limbo.
You can always count on me to be vary transparent about what I am--and especially what I am not--accomplishing.
I don't want to be overwhelming, so I'm going to stop this post here. But I want to thank you again for following along, through the ups and downs, the spurts of frequent posts and the random, long silences. I hope you'll stay tuned for my next post :)
Love always,
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